Originally printed in Exeposé, 2021
Crocs comeback? Or an embarrassment of a shoe?
By Yasmeen Louis | 26th April 2022
As a shamefully avid follower of the latest fashion trends, I am no stranger to purchasing the odd, but currently ‘in’ wardrobe piece.
However, Crocs are where I firmly draw the line. It is not that they don’t have their purpose:
Children under the age of seven, geriatrics taking up gardening in retirement homes, nurses in hospital scrubs and on Zara models while they oddly showcase entirely different garments – forced to demonstrate their gymnastics ability on top of a kitchen stove or whatever similarly peculiar poses those poor models are contractually obliged to produce.
I digress – but these are the initial and ultimately the only acceptable suggestions that come to mind for the dreaded Croc.
This writer wonders whether the Croc would be more at home in the wonderful, but perplexing world of Zara modelling. Image: Tyla
Crocs: the Comic San of the foot world, jarringly brutish with their wide fit and oddly indecisive whether they are a scandal or a plastic impression of Swiss cheese.
They are made of waterproof material, but their huge gaping holes make it look like someone has aggressively attacked them with a hole punch, rendering them useless for proper protection.
This flaw also makes them an odd choice for the beach, unless the owner is desiring the dalmatian tan look.
Hey- I get the initial appeal. I once myself had a pair of crocs – two actually – and at age of five, I thought they were the best thing money could buy.
However, notice the use of the past tense ‘were’, for I am no longer five and now, earning my own money, have had the novelty wear off – especially sobered up by the price of these monstrosities.
This is perhaps my greatest objection with the Croc; disregarding all its other faults, a pair with Jibbitz (accessories) could set you back £70 or more.
If you think I am going to fork out that much money on footwear which is just an ugly and incompetent version of a clog – except without the beautiful cultural heritage that comes with the Dutch footwear– you are sorely mistaken.
The Croc will not be making an appearance on my debit card payment history this summer. An embarrassment of a shoe.
That being said – if the CEO of Crocs is reading this, wanting to offer me a paid brand ambassador contract with the company, I will happily contact Exposé to retract this statement. Summer is drawing near and recession even nearer - who am I to turn my nose up at a potential grad job?
Crocs did you say? Yes, I love them.
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